Boy, am I glad to be home. Today was filled with errands surrounding the theft of my wallet at the usual Tuesday night salsa venue. New driver’s license, new bank card, phone calls to all the financial institutions, and cancelling appointments that I couldn’t keep until I had access to our funds again. It was a right pain. The woman who issued me the replacement driver’s license even gave a 15-minute lecture on why I should also update my maiden name on my citizenship card. I was going to let her speak until she ran out of steam, but it soon became apparent that she needed my agreement before she’d re-issue the license. So began my oft-rehearsed story of how I’ve had three surnames in my life, and no actual record of my name change to Clement, yadda yadda. 30 minutes later, she decided that it was the right decision to keep my citizenship papers under Clement. Sigh.

Have you ever had your wallet stolen before? It can be gut-wrenching. The last time it happened to me was on the first day of my first ever job, at the McDonald’s by Science World. I didn’t know that one needed a padlock to stow away your street clothes, so my trainer suggested that I just throw my bag into a random locker. What’s the worst that could happen during a 4-hour shift? Well, your wallet could be stolen, apparently. Not that it held anything of value to others. Just a long-hoarded stash of cherished schoolmate portraits, the personal messages of friendship forever lost to me and whose meaning would be forever lost on the thief.

In the case of last night’s theft, I will miss the wallet itself, which was a souvenir of my first visit to my in-laws’ cottage in Gimli. It held the Octopus Card from Hong Kong that I always show to my techie friends as one of the marvels of Asia. The business cards of newly forged acquaintances that I will sadly not be able to reach. And most sorely lamented, the last wallet-sized photo of Kurt and I from the year that we first moved in together.

So long, Volcom wallet. You will be missed. I hope whoever took you from me gets bitten in the ass quite unabashedly by karma.